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Catholic church denies existence of normal priests

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The Roman Catholic church has strongly denied that there could be hundreds of hard-working priests in parishes across the UK showing no inclination towards paedophilia.

This follows an investigation by the BBC Today programme into allegations of apparently normal behaviour breaking out amongst members of the Catholic Church.

‘I’m embarrassed to admit it, but at no time during my stay at St Paul’s School in Gadd did Father O’Leary make any sexual advances towards me,’ said Paul Dyke, a 19-year-old art student from Coventry who is just one of the victims of normalcy. ‘I’d heard all the stories about these Catholic nonces fiddling with kids, so what’s so wrong with me, eh?’

‘I wish I’d joined the scouts now,’ he added.

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